Choice Words

Remember Hannah’s blog about the “Pill Kills” protest?!

Apparently on June 7th anti-choice groups are protesting the Birth Control Pill at family planning clinics across the country, claiming that the pill causes a “chemical abortion.” In New York City all three Planned Parenthood clinics will be picketed. Join Planned Parenthood that day as we stand together in support of birth control and family planning facilities. Planned Parenthood will offer accurate and unbiased information about the birth control pill. Our goal is to have our positive and life affirming message counter their negative and misleading claims.

Join the Facebook group, Planning is Power.

We want to be out there in support of comprehensive sex education, access to health care and birth control, women’s rights and freedoms, and the courageous work that Planned Parenthood, NARAL, and so many other organizations do every day to make women, children, and families safe and healthy every day.

Damn straight. But now for my personal rant. I can’t believe it’s come down to defending the pill, I really can’t. It makes me really sad and super irritated. If it’s your personal belief that the pill kills (whatever), then don’t use the pill. Practice abstinence or use a condom (until you find issues with that method) or have children at will. That’s fine by me, except that your children will probably have the same “values” that you do. But don’t suck innocent, responsible women into this nonsense, women who already jump through hoops at doctor’s offices, family planning clinics and pharmacies so that they can obtain birth control to have some control over their lives and reproduction - so that they can be happy and healthy and autonomous.

A la The Daily Show, “here’s your moment of zen:”

Join young people across the country on Protest the Pill Day ‘08: The Pill Kills Babies on June 7 and witness outside of clinics that distribute this killing poison.

I want to introduce you all to a fabulous organization (if you’re not already familiar with them) called GoLeft “where progressive culture is popular.” GoLeft is a social network for progressive activists that marries the things we like to talk about (popular culture) with the things we need to talk about (advocacy).

As we all know, Sex and the City is not without well-deserved social critique, but who among us doesn’t love the show and can’t wait to see the movie tonight?! This week GoLeft is using Sex and the City as an opportunity to further a discussion of women, work and sexuality, using the movie as a guide.

All this week, leading up to the movie we’ll be discussing aspects of the movie that you can use to talk with your constituency, friends, family about the gap between the fantasy of shows and movies like SATC and the reality. We also want to talk about ways we want to reach some of those fantasy aspects of the movie that overlap with our progressive vision: having work that you love and are well-compensated for; having time for family, friends and partners; living in places where you feel safe and comfortable; and of course, beautiful shoes.

Check out GoLeft’s current blogs (below) which connect important social issues that Sex and the City highlights for us with the amazing organizations that are doing the work!

Sexism and the City
Race and the City
Sweatshops and the City

Why bother calling me a bitch when you can just shoot me?

An 18 year old girl and her friends rebuffed a catcaller’s advances. Instead of getting a clue, he attempted to run the girls off the road, and when that didn’t work, he shot one of them.

This is why I have a hugely pissed off look on my face as I go on my daily travels through DC. I don’t want anyone thinking they have a right to approach me to make “small talk” - you know the creepy kind, ask me for my number, or participate in a variety of other asshat like behaviors I’ve witnessed in the city.

But I mean, I guess they could just shoot me anyway.

This is sans a lot of commentary because I’m pretty sure you can figure out what I’d say anyway.

I’m biting my nails waiting to see what comes next. Today’s strip is a flashback to when Maria was younger. Currently, Maria is pregnant and as far as the reader knows Maria doesn’t have any other kids. It is interesting that the doctor’s first suggestion is abortion– as teen motherhood is often stigmatized and teen parents are thought to be irresponsible/bad parents. Matter of fact, where I grew up it was better and far more supported to secretly have an abortion than to carry out the pregnancy.

While I was home in Kansas I saw a million billboards for Project Rachel, a program of the Catholic Dioceses of Kansas City. The billboards ask “Hurting After an Abortion” and have red, white, and blue themed religious pictures– crosses, Jesus with open arms, etc..
Their mission?

The Mission of Project Rachel and Project Joseph is to help post-abortive women and men understand what took place with the abortion experience and its impact. Their struggles with sadness, anger and shame can be overwhelming. This program is a gentle guiding back to a loving and faithful Father. Through forgiveness the healing begins. We are open to all.

Deciphered:Yes, the church will welcome you back with open arms– if you repent your shameful, shameful dirty sin. Uhm, part of the reason why women feel bad about their abortion is the social stigma around it.

What irks me even more is this letter I found on their website:

Dear Rachel,

Whenever I hear the pro-life messages in my church, I don’t feel welcomed. I feel condemned. Yes I had an abortion, but it was when I was very young.

Can you help me?

Hurt

Dear Hurt,

Please remember there are 2 important messages that must be heard. 1-life is God’s from conception to natural death. Be proud that your church takes the right stand. 2—God is merciful and forgives. We are ALL in need of His mercy. Your church understands the abortion decision was very painful and has hurt you. This is why we offer Project Rachel to help you (and anyone who has experienced an abortion) heal. When you ask God, He forgives. In Reconciliation you will hear the words YOU ARE FORGIVEN. We want you back. Let Project Rachel walk with you to healing. In Kansas, call 913-621-2199 or toll free 888-246-1504. It’s free and CONFIDENTIAL. In Missouri, call (816) 591-3804.

Interestingly enough there is a program for men as well. I can think of more positive ways to approach people’s feelings after having an abortion.

Ashlee Simpson waxes philosophic on getting married:

I think [changing your name] is something that a woman should do when they’re marrying a man. It’s a tradition that I think is a great tradition.

Aside from using the same word twice in a sentence, which is irritating, she’s also kind of an idiot.

I think you missed a really essential qualifying phrase there, Ashlee - “if that’s what she wants to do.”

The finished sentence looks like this: A woman should change her name if that’s what she wants to do.

I was checking out some local news today when I found out that the North Carolina House Committee on Transportation has passed HB 932 in support of offering a “Choose Life” license plate to NC motorists. Proceeds will go to “crisis pregnancy centers”, of course.

Political consultant Paula Wolf sent out a Legislative Action Alert listing the Center for Reproductive Rights talking points on “Choose Life” plates:

“Choose Life” license plates are specialty plates that bear an anti-abortion message. Motorists who purchase the plates pay a fee above the cost of a standard license plate. The revenue generated from the sale is then funneled to non-profit, anti-abortion organizations, including so called “crisis pregnancy centers” that often promise comprehensive medical advice and services but deliver anti-abortion propaganda. Any organization that mentions abortion as a neutral option – including counseling, referrals or advertising – is prohibited from receiving any of the funds.

“Choose Life” license plates infringe upon First Amendment rights in three ways:

Violation #1: Discrimination Against Pro-Choice Organizations - Organizations that counsel women about all their options during pregnancy, including abortion, are discriminated against because they are prevented from receiving “Choose Life” license plate funds solely because of their views on abortion.

Violation #2: Muzzling Pro-Choice Citizens’ Freedom of Speech - Efforts to create “Pro-Choice” license plates have been rejected by many state governments. As a result, pro-choice motorists are denied the opportunity to express their views on a government-issued, specialty license plate, while anti-choice groups are granted the right to spread propaganda that not only supports their political opinions, it’s explicitly sanctioned by the government.

Violation #3: Crossing the Line Between Church and State - Some of the states that have adopted “Choose Life” license plate schemes enable religious organizations, such as Catholic Charities, to decide which non-profit organizations should receive funds generated by the sale of the plates. This is a clear violation of the constitutional directive separating church from state, which mandates that government entities avoid entanglement in religious matters.

It’s not a done deal yet, the bill has to go to the Committee on Finance. I’m hoping this doesn’t go completely through and encourage all my NC pro-choice folks out there to tell the Finance Committee what you think!

Sex and the City is back in a big way, and you know what? I’m excited. Yep, I have plans to get all of my girls together, make some pretty pink martinis and revel in the glory of Sarah Jessica Parker.

And I am a self-respecting feminist. So what gives?! I mean honestly, the entirety of the show was premised on the idea that these women didn’t need a long-term partner to make them happy, they had each other. And somehow, at the end of it all, they all end up partnered, and the cold, unfeeling Miranda is a Mommy! How perfect. What a happy ending. But I can’t wait to see Carrie don a wedding dress and finally tame Big. I can’t wait! I get all mushy and gooey over it.

I see this as the notorious third-wave feminist conflict. Feminists my age are fighting so hard against inequalities in pay, for access to sexual health resources and information, and for equal opportunities world-wide, and yet I am stoked that this movie is coming out and so are many of my friends.

What does it mean!? Sure, I am capable of separating reality from fantasy, and often used the show to escape from my own chaos, but how much of that seeped into my sub-consciousness? Maybe it sounds like I am being paranoid, but how much of that crap have I internalized? I find myself questioning whether or not my happy ending necessarily involves a wedding and children. Settling down. Blecch. At 22 years old, that sounds totally unsavory. But I still swoon over Big (ooh and Aidan). I have a mini-culture war raging inside of me right now.

I think it’s important to continually question the things that our pop-culture throws at us for consumption. I am fully aware of the ridiculousness of the show and have accepted that it doesn’t have to reflect on my own needs and desires.

None of that changes the fact that I already have my shoes picked out.

If you are as big of a “Trapped in the Closet” fan as I am, you have probably been following Robert “R” Kelly’s child pornography trial pretty closely. If you haven’t heard by now, Kelly is currently on trial facing fourteen counts of child pornography for a sex tape he allegedly made with a thirteen or fourteen year-old girl. If convicted, the R&B singer faces up to fifteen years in jail. Creepy, no? I recently moved to Chicago, where Kelly is on trial. My new obsession is reading the many free papers now available to me, so I get a daily dose of trial drama in the Red Eye.

Seeing as Kelly is on trial for (allegedly) taping himself engaging in various sexual acts with a minor, one might think that my fellow Cook County residents would be particularly sensitive to the sexualization of young children. Which is why I was particularly disturbed the other day when I read this headline in UR Chicago magazine: “Hoop to it! Get as fit as a 5-year-old with this fun throwback activity” (emphasis added). The article (which I unfortunately cannot find online, as it was in last month’s issue) is all about how hoola-hooping is a fun, sexy way to get fit- who wouldn’t want to look as young and hot as they did at age five? Another disturbing example of the media’s tendency to over-sexualize our young people.

I don’t think there’s anything anti-feminists love more than to hold up one case of a woman who was involved with feminism, or experienced the movement firsthand, and is now repudiating it. What more could they want! How well that proves their case that feminism is all about hating children, which follows to the logical conclusion of killing those children, promoting early sexual activity, and being so unbelievably strident about their views that they disrespect anyone who doesn’t believe the same things. Well, lucky for them, Alice Walker’s daughter Rebecca, offered them up all that bullshit on a silver platter.

I mean, even the title does it - “How my mother’s fanatical feminist views tore us apart”. I think Rebecca forgets that one person’s experience does not necessarily make a trend. I’m not going to tell her that she didn’t have a hard childhood, that isn’t my place. It sucks that she didn’t feel that her mom cared for her. But to place all the blame on feminism is, to me, shortsighted and a bit intellectually lazy.

Although I was on the Pill - something I had arranged at 13, visiting the doctor with my best friend - I fell pregnant at 14. I organised an abortion myself. Now I shudder at the memory. I was only a little girl. I don’t remember my mother being shocked or upset. She tried to be supportive, accompanying me with her boyfriend.

Although I believe that an abortion was the right decision for me then, the aftermath haunted me for decades. It ate away at my self-confidence and, until I had Tenzin, I was terrified that I’d never be able to have a baby because of what I had done to the child I had destroyed. For feminists to say that abortion carries no consequences is simply wrong.

As a child, I was terribly confused, because while I was being fed a strong feminist message, I actually yearned for a traditional mother. My father’s second wife, Judy, was a loving, maternal homemaker with five children she doted on.

Where do I start here - yeah, it’s terribly unfortunate that she got pregnant at 14. I won’t deny that. But did she want her mom to be shocked and upset? If I were to choose to get an abortion, I’d like my mom to be kind and supportive, not freak out. Of course, that’s a matter of personal opinion. Rebecca just can’t get enough of assuming that her experience means that the entire world feels this way, and pulls out the strawman argument that feminists say abortion is consequence-free, painless, and easy. First of all, I don’t know one feminist who says this. The ones I know realize that it’s a difficult choice for a woman to make, not, as Rebecca seems to believe, a “Whatever!” decision.

The last section of the article is titled, apparently without any irony at all, “What about the children?”

Then there is the issue of not having children. Even now, I meet women in their 30s who are ambivalent about having a family. They say things like: ‘I’d like a child. If it happens, it happens.’ I tell them: ‘Go home and get on with it because your window of opportunity is very small.’ As I know only too well…

Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating.

‘Cause, y’know, every woman, simply by virtue of being a woman, wants a kid. It’s in our DNA, it’s not conditioning or society’s expectations or whatever. I’m not sure I want kids, but I’m so glad I have Rebecca to tell me that feminism is tricking me into thinking that. Bad feminism. I mean, really.

In case we missed her point all through the article, we get it in her last sentence: “I am my own woman and I have discovered what really matters - a happy family,” Sure, that matters to her. Maybe it doesn’t rank as high on the list of priorities to someone else. But now that she’s rejected feminism, a movement that apparently makes women into unfeeling, childless zombies, she’s finally figured out what she (and every other woman) wants: BABIES.