Choice Words

Here’s a tip for all of you ugly girls out there! [Please note - I use the word “ugly” in the most ridiculous, sarcastic, wtf is going on here sense] Ready?

Move to Mount Isa, Australia!

Well, that’s what their mayor wants you to do, anyway. Seeing as men outnumber women 5-1, Mayor John Molony thought he would suggest that “beauty-disadvantaged” women move to Mount Isa, cause, you know, all women want is to snag a man.

This quote would be pure amusement, if he wasn’t seriously treating women like commodities for the poor little men in his town to screw:

Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness,” Molony told the Townsville Bulletin newspaper last week.

Obviously it’s because these women are in relationships with men, not because they’re happy with themselves and their lives. What do I have to smile about, then? I’m single. Eesh. I probably just look demented, walking down the street, being happy for no good reason!

But, thankfully we’ve got Mayor Molony to look out for us women. He says he’s a “bloke who respects women.”

Oh. Well, Mr. Molony, you’ve got a funny way of showing it.

When Choice USA interviewed Sonya Renee about this spoken work piece in 2004, this is what she had to say:

How did your poem “What We Deserve” come about?

Initially I wrote the poem in response to a new advertising campaign running on the DC metro transportation services called women deserve better than abortion. I was just baffled that someone had spent so much money on that campaign when they could have put it into social services they claim are lacking. When I found out about the work that Choice USA is doing and saw their commitment to the full range of reproductive rights for women, I decided I wanted to dedicate the poem to Choice USA.

See the full interview here.

This woman is phenomenal and her spoken has moved all of us. Is it possible to watch this without getting the chills!? Thank you Sonya.

I’m serving as the Program Coordinator for this amazing all volunteer-based event (yes, my position is a volunteer position).

I’m currently looking for some talent for the 2nd Annual Vagina Fest in New York City!

VAGINA FESTIVAL is an opportunity to have conversations we don’t typically get to have. In ways we don’t typically get to have them. Through visual art, performance, speaker presentations and interactive activities, Vagina Festival forms a welcoming space for exploring sexuality, body image, personal identity, health and well-being.

At Vagina Festival, we exchange ideas, challenge cultural norms and celebrate women. Our aim is to engage people by creating a fun, moving, thought-provoking experience. Vagina Festival takes place October 24-26, 2008 at Sage Theater, Times Square, NYC. Join us!

Shouting out to all artists, performers, and speakers - We’re ready to receive your proposals! Please pass the word and apply if you are interested. I want to make sure the women of color are especially represented in this event!

If your work is about women - our experiences, challenges, connections, passions, we invite you to submit a proposal to Exhibit, Perform, or Present at Vagina Festival!

What are you passionate about?

Exhibit drawings, painting photography, prints, sculpture…
Perform poetry, spoken word, dance, improv, music, monologues, plays…
Present a talk, host a panel, or engage the audience in an interactive activity…

Vagina Festival is made possible by generous sponsors and volunteers who are passionate about creating conversation. If you’d like to be a part of organizing and promoting Vagina Festival, we could certainly use your help! Go to www.vaginafestival.com to sign up.

**I know it says the application due date is July 31st, BUT since I am selecting the work for the show, I am willing to push back the date a bit if any interested people just email and notify us letting us know they are going to submit!**

The ladies from Jezebel, Moe and Tracie, were on Lizz Winstead’s Thinking and Drinking a few days ago, and crap - what a total shitshow. These are two women who regularly manage to combine wit, intelligence, and occasionally feminist-lite thought into their writing. So, y’know, you’d expect any way to get a semblance of feminism “out there” would be appreciated. Not so.

The two women, apparently tanked off their asses, decided to regale the audience with edgy “jokes” and commentary about rape. Now, I’m not one to say that you can never joke about such a serious topic (in fact, sometimes it makes it easier to joke about it), but while these bon mots may have been intended to be funny, they totally were anything but.

Moe on why she didn’t report her rapist:

Moe: “I guess the third guy, I ever had sex with, date raped me, and I got very mad at him, but I wasn’t gonna fucking like turn him in to the police and fucking go through shit..

Lizz interrupts: “Why not, you see that’s the problem, why not, I am just curious?”

Moe: Because it was a load of trouble and I had better things to do, like drinking more.”

Duh. Why didn’t I think of it?! I’m sure the young feminists in the audience were relieved to discover that encouraging prosecution of rapists is so, ugh, second wave. When hip girls get raped, they just go out and - what was it? “Drink more”.

And, of course, Tracie on why she’s been lucky enough not to have been raped:

” I think it has to do with the fact that I am like, smart”

“I don’t hang around with frat guys”

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Did a woman who is considered a feminist just imply that women who have been raped have been so because they aren’t smart? So we can safely say that women at Harvard never get raped, right? They’re smart. Oh, you meant common sense? So women can avoid being raped by only hanging out with guy friends they’ve fully vetted and found to be trustworthy? Cause it ain’t like most rapes are perpetrated by people the victim knows. Nah.

You’d never hear me say that shit, no matter how long I stay at the bar.

(I’m not even touching the frat boy thing - that stereotype is old and tired.)

This wouldn’t be quite so tragic if these were just two random women having a drink over dinner somewhere. A pity, for sure, but not tragic. What’s tragic is that these two women have quite a following among the young feminist set. A girl who was in the audience writes about the train-wreck on her blog, but as soon as Tracie and Moe show up in the comments, she starts making excuses for their behavior. We shouldn’t be teaching young feminists to make excuses for people who say offensive shit like this - even “feminists” can be wrong sometimes, and it just makes for a stronger movement when we empower feminists to be able to call out non-feminist thought and action, even when it comes from someone we generally agree with.

This reminds me a lot of the book “Female Chauvinist Pigs”. Women, even “feminist” women, will go to great lengths to remind people that they’re hip, they’re “with it”, they “get it”. They can joke about serious things in a totally irreverent way - they’re one of the boys! And then, of course, they’ll eventually end up falling flat on their face, much the way that Tracie and Moe did here. There’s a difference between being edgy in a Kathleen Hanna kind of way versus a edgy “to prove that we can laugh at the patriarchy while remaining complicit” way. If that makes sense. I’m not sure it necessarily does, because we’re all, in some way, complicit.

Cause, let’s face it, just thinking you’re funny and bad ass doesn’t mean you’re automatically a feminist. It just means you like yourself. I’m pretty full of myself, but I would never assume that automatically makes me a feminist.

Some people think that the Great Wide Feminist Blogosphere is being too hard on Moe and Tracie. Maybe.

But I’d just like to leave you with this:

How much of a sex-positive, you-go-girl, “feminist” icon can you really be when you call transgendered people “it” in your blog?

Last week, Jana Mackey was taken from us in an unspeakable way. I am still having a really hard time wrapping my head around things. It all seemed so impossible and surreal. I mean, I JUST saw her a few months ago when I was back in Lawrence. How could she be gone? Nothing seemed to add up in a way that would help me understand.

I first met Jana my junior year of college. I was trying to find my way in the movement and she was a bright and shining light to guide me. Matter of fact, she intimidated me, because she was so steadfast and sure about what she was working towards, which made me want to be just like her. She treated me as a friend and a colleague and pushed me to persevere through some of the toughest situations. Jana was a kind person who effortlessly navigated the intersections between many movements –—all with a smile, even while facing the most conservative of opposition.

Services for our dear friend Jana Mackey have been scheduled for July 9th at Liberty Hall in Lawrence, 2pm. It will be followed by a celebration of Jana’s life at the Replay Lounge beginning at 8pm. Donations will be taken at the door and given to one of the many funds created in her name.

The family asks that in lieu of flowers, please contribute to:

Jana Mackey Support for Public Advocacy Fund
c/o Dean of Law
Green Hall
1535 W. 15th St.
Lawrence, KS 66045

Jana, you’re missed.

I’ve made pretty good friends with the patriarchal beauty standard. I’d love to defend myself here, but I realize that while I love shaving my legs, for instance, because I like the way they feel when they’re smooth, it’s also in due in part to the fact that society tells me that yeah, to be considered attractive, I should shave my legs. So, I shave my legs. I realize this. No action takes place in a vacuum, and everything we do is influenced, at least in some degree, by patriarchal norms and expectations.

But things I didn’t know? That the way I perform certain grooming tasks that are expected of me can have a damaging effect to my psyche.

So when I realize that, oops, I’ve got a little peach fuzz on my face, and don’t have the time to Nair or wax or what-have-you, and pick up my razor to do some quick hair removal, I’m actually seriously confusing myself. Cause, y’know, face shaving is such a masculine activity.

I don’t really get how face shaving is so masculine. It’s something that’s always confused me. Actions are gendered - this is a female action, this is a male action; ignoring, of course, that gender falls along a spectrum. And if gender didn’t fall along a spectrum, and if we lived in a world where things were either boy or girl, well shit! If I’m shaving my face on occasion, then it’s obviously not a guy thing to do, it’s an everyone thing to do.

But, that’s a lot of thinking to do for someone who’s obviously been sent to the brink of insanity by picking up a razor and getting rid of a stray hair or two on my face. I’m losing my grasp on reality. I’m starting to think I’m a guy, and can have all the perks that guys get - you know, that whole equality thing. I am clearly unhinged. See what forgoing waxing, plucking, and laser hair removal treatments in lieu of a quick “one-two” hair removal method will do to you?

Funny, isn’t it, to note that the recommended hair removal methods for women all involve some measure of pain? Shaving is easy and quick, unless you cut yourself. That must just be a coincidence, right?

Heidi Hartmann, writes about the differences in attitude toward social security. A recent survey showed that women are much more concerned about social security than men. And this spans across class and race.

Why are women so much more worried? Hartmann lists three reasons:

“First, women have the children and generally rear them to adulthood, whether men help out financially or not.”

“Third, women live longer than men.”

Given these realities, shaky economic times always worry women more than men, and for good reason. Unemployment rates are nearly always highest for single mothers — perhaps because they face more constraints on which jobs they can accept or encounter more discrimination in the labor market or both. In a survey of American Workers conducted in 2007 by Yankelovich at the request of the Rockefeller Foundation, one woman in five reported she lacked money to fill a prescription, one in eight said she could not afford to take a child to a doctor, and one in 14 said she went hungry in the past year. Women experienced these hardships at about twice the rate of men in the nationally representative survey.

Women are still second-class citizens in our country and no one wants to admit it. If this many women cannot afford to fill a prescription or take their child to a doctor, then there’s a huge lack of basic health care for the majority of our citizens. But we already knew that didn’t we…

If we can’t afford medicine, how are we supposed to use contraceptives? If we can’t afford to bring our child to the doctor, how are we supposed to raise children? This is a huge reproductive justice issue. These “shaky economic times” will only bring even more injustice when it comes to reproductive health and rights.

Get this: Pete and Ashley Wentz (cause she’s not Simpson anymore, no way, nuh-uh, cause she’s a woman and that’s what women do when they get married) are going to have some seriously traditional (and may I say, screwed-up) kids when it comes to gender roles.

The latest gem comes courtesy of Pete, who explained his desire to know the baby’s sex before it’s born:

I’d like to know the sex of the baby. It would be a bummer if you bought a boy a whole bunch of pink stuff.

Yeah. Cause if you bought a baby boy pink stuff, it would totally be the end of the world. It’s this super secret power babies have: intuitively knowing the color of their belongings, even before they can even crawl.

Ugh.

I’m a big politics dork. I mean, huge. When people are getting all starstruck by meeting, say, Brad Pitt, I’m meeting politicians and having really spastic inner monologues and embarrassing myself.

No. Seriously. Once I met Senator Sherrod Brown, and out of habit and nervousness, called him “dude”. That’s right, I called a sitting senator dude. But that’s just because I love being around people who’ve made their career in politics so much (but only those with integrity!) that my mind shuts down and I operate on auto-pilot, so imagine how pleased I was to be at a conference today where Madeline Albright was speaking. I was pumped.

She said something that I thought was really inspirational, and could be applied to anything we think is important - the right to be able to walk down a city street without being harassed, the right to not be sexually assaulted, the right to have autonomy over our bodies and the reproductive choices we make, the right to get equal pay for equal work, etc. She said “Some say it’s cultural, and we can’t do anything about it. But I say it’s criminal, and we have a responsibility to do something about it.”

Sigh. Ms. Albright, I love you. And it’s so true, too. We hear that, oh, well, women make less then men in the workforce because they are normally the ones who choose flexible hours, fields that don’t pay as well, etc. Ignoring the fact that the study accounted for whatever differences there were between “male” employment and “female employment”, the assumption that “that’s just the way things are” is ridiculous. That’s not the Natural Order of Things. So Madeline Albright gets serious props from me for pointing that out in her speech, and tying it to women’s rights.

Ashlee Simpson waxes philosophic on getting married:

I think [changing your name] is something that a woman should do when they’re marrying a man. It’s a tradition that I think is a great tradition.

Aside from using the same word twice in a sentence, which is irritating, she’s also kind of an idiot.

I think you missed a really essential qualifying phrase there, Ashlee - “if that’s what she wants to do.”

The finished sentence looks like this: A woman should change her name if that’s what she wants to do.