Choice Words

I am sad to report that Bettie Page, the pin-up queen of the 1950’s, has died. She’d been on life support since December 2nd, when she suffered a heart attack. The Los Angeles Times has the full story.

Photographed over twenty thousand times during her brief career (more than Marilyn Monroe and Cindy Crawford combined!), many people credit the notorious Ms. Page with helping to usher in the sexual revolution of the 1960s. Famous for her bondage photos, Bettie certainly pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable during the oh-so wholesome 1950s. However, I see her in a slightly different light.

I believe that Bettie Page is the perfect symbol for the conflicted nature of sex in America. As a model, there wasn’t much that was off limits for her. She didn’t mind being dressed in black leather while bound and gagged, because her pictures made people happy. In fact, the devoutly Christian Bettie saw her talent as a gift from God. However, in the late 1950s Bettie left modeling forever. She stayed out of the lime light for several decades, and spent some time in a state mental institution. Like American culture itself, she was conflicted about her sexuality. She loved putting on sexy outfits (or taking them off) and having her picture taken, but it was for the joy that others received from looking at them. Culturally, we’re constantly bombarded with images of sexuality, yet we teach abstinence-only sex education in schools. Pharmacists (in some states) are permitted to refuse to sell contraception. Sex is everywhere, yet we live in a very anti-sex society. Granted, things are changing, but it has taken us a long time to get there. And in spite of the reservations she had later in life regarding her work, Bettie helped.

If you’d like to learn more about Bettie’s work, I highly recommend Mary Harron’s 2005 film, The Notorious Bettie Page.

I received this survey from a friend this morning and I wanted to pass it on to you all. It comes from the Psychology Department at Brooklyn College - CUNY.

The survey examines people’s beliefs about sexual minorities. You are welcome to participate in this survey if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.

For every person who completes this survey, $2 will be dontaed to Pride For Youth - a service and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Its mission is to enhance the health, wellness and cultural competency of LGBT young people through supportive services, education and youth development. For more information about Pride For Youth, please visit their website: www.prideforyouth.org.

Also, at the end of the survey, you will be able to submit your email address to be entered into a raffle to win one of two $50 American Express gift cheques. The raffle will take place as soon as we have enough people who completed the survey.

This survey will take about 15mins of your time. If you begin the survey, there is no way to stop it and return to it later. So please be sure to complete the survey in one sitting.

To complete the survey please click here.

Teens and sex. Ten-thousand teenage girls were surveyed through an anonymous survey on TyraShow.com that focused on questions about sexuality, STDs, teen pregnancy, drinking, drugs and violence. And the results of the survey did more than shock Tyra, it even shocked me:

I graduated from high school in 2007, and guys who carried condoms with them were the ones we thought to be cool. This is very scary to me, especially because I have two teen sisters entering high school next year in a city where sex education is usually ignored, and teen pregnancy rates are pretty high.

Dr. Elizabeth Schroeder, executive director of Answer, a teen sex education program based at Rutgers University, said the survey results sound plausible and are consistent with other research on teen sexuality.

“This so clearly points to the need for comprehensive sexual education for kids,” Schroeder said. “An adolescent … is supposed to be making poor decisions. Developmentally this is the way they’re supposed to be behaving. They need help ….

“Parents need help talking with their kids about sexuality, and schools need to be talking to kids about sexuality.”

I hope this survey can make parents become more open about the reality of sex, drugs, and violence; schools can only do so much. I hope this can teach us once and for all that abstinence-only education is not the solution. We have so much work to do in this country and hopefully with the new presidency underway, we can solve these issues with realistic solutions that will actually work. I don’t want my sisters to be victims of risky teen sex, nor any other teens.

Check out coverage of this survey on Go Left!

I love the interwebs. I love technology, and I love all the various and sundry things we can do with technology. The problem is, of course, when technology is used to slut-shame young women.

So, we have a case of a young woman (albeit a famous one, but that’s irrelevant) taking pictures that were meant to only be seen by her boyfriend. Her laptop gets stolen, and - surprise - the pictures end up on the internet. Aside from the obvious invasion of privacy, there’s deeper questions about female sexuality here - why it’s seen as a source of shame and embarrassment, and why it’s used as a weapon against women.

I recently learned that there’s a market for pictures like this - no, not simply nude pictures of women, but pictures that have been taken specifically for private use (boyfriend, girlfriend, or what-have-you) and then leaked on the internet. I’m not judging anyone for enjoying those pictures - I don’t believe that interest in any sort of pornography (except extremely violent pornography) is indicative of someone’s morals or character, since what we find arousing is, to some degree, a product of the culture we live in.

But it is worth examining why the market exists for pictures like this. Is it pleasure in knowing that these women have been exposed against their will, outside of their comfort zone? Is it a form of revenge - punishing a woman for transgressive behavior?

[Sidenote: I would argue that it isn’t transgressive behavior in the sense of displaying the female body for male (in most cases) consumption. The transgressive nature of the act arises out of the virgin-whore divide - the women who participate in acts of that nature are those women, not the women you know and interact with on a daily basis.]

I’m always confused by this. We’re supposed to be sexy, but not sexual? If that’s the case, we aren’t supposed to do anything because we genuinely want to (and I don’t see anything wrong with the act of taking naughty pictures for a significant other - I would only worry because who knows - it may end up on the internet).

Instead of looking at situations like this like, oh, one more celebrity making bad decisions, we need to start looking at it like “oh, one more celebrity making her own decisions, and one more example of someone not respecting that decision.”

I know this video is viral but I just love it so much!

So, Jordin Sparks doesn’t regret her comments at the VMAs. I was doing some blog browsing and came across this little tidbit from Entertainment Weekly’s Hollywood Insider:

“It’s something I feel strongly about,” she tells EW.com. “I wish I would’ve worded it differently — that somebody who doesn’t wear a promise ring isn’t necessarily a slut — but I can’t take it back now. It was a split-second thing, and it came out kind of wrong. Still, I don’t regret it.“

So is that the same as saying, “I shouldn’t have said it, but I still meant it…?”

There was much talk about promise rings during the Video Music Awards on MTV. The show’s host actor/comedian Russell Brand made tacky jokes about teenagers and sex. More specifically, he took a few jabs at Disney boy band/mega stars The Jonas Brothers. Apparently, the Jonas’ wear promise rings, vowing to remain virgins before marriage.

Later in the evening, singer and American Idol star Jordin Sparks, who also wears a promise ring, addressed Brand’s humor before she presenting an award:

“I just wanna say, it’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy or girl wants to be a slut, OK?

Brand would not let the joke go even after Jordin Spark’s comment, and it was obvious the audience would have preferred him to. He obviously crossed several lines with his foolishness, but I wish Jordin Sparks could have responded more tactfully.

And now for my rant. To each celebrity I say: Russell, leave the kids alone! Seriously, the night may have gone more smoothly if he knew when enough is enough. Dear Jordin, maybe you should have used another word like unchaste or impure instead of “slut”. No wait, those are also bad ideas and may make people angry. OK, done.

While I am not all that into purity rings or whatever, I am not seeking to debate whether or not the rings are “good” or bad,” nor do I want to offend those who wear them. What concerns me more than promise rings is why we so often talk in two extremes, promiscuity and celibacy, when it comes to sex. There is nothing wrong with the two, but what about all the options in between? Making healthy and informed decisions about one’s sexuality requires a lot more than choosing whether or not to do it! Right?

These two links speak for themselves:
Sex Is For Fags & Iron Hymen.

These websites are completely satirical look at abstinence-only education. What do you think?

Last night (7/23/2008) on CNN, Soledad O’Brien hosted a segment called Black in America. Part One addressed Black women and the family and tonight, 7/24/2008, Part Two will address Black men. Several issues were presented during this 2 hour presentation and at moments I was in tears. The portion of the presentation addressing the HIV/AIDS epidemic within the Black community was most intriguing to me. Some may say HIV/AIDS have become “a Black disease.” Certainly we all know that HIV/AIDS doesn’t have a color, but for some reason Blacks outnumber many other races when discussing this disease.

Often times the Black community looks to Black churches to help untangle the horrifying studies of HIV/AIDS cases. People want to know what they can do to help people who are directly affected. Many leaders within the church will establish programs to help educate young people about sex. Some programs aren’t favored within the churches. People have mentioned that talking about sex in the church is dismissing abstinence before marriage policy or encouraging young people to have sex. But the reality is we need comprehensive sex education.

Growing up within the Washington, DC-Metropolitan area, I’ve listened to the way preachers overlook or circle around HIV/AIDS. Last night on Black in America, Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of The Potter’s House in Dallas, Texas mentioned the struggles pastors face when discussing secular issues within the church. According to scripture, abstinence-only education is favored, but the reality is people are still engaging in sex, especially unprotected sex. I valued the opinion of Bishop Jakes, he mentioned (and I paraphrase) “the Bible teachings are ideal, but we also must teach reality.”

In essence, I long for the day when more pastors, ministers, bishops, apostles, or people of the clergy are not afraid to address issues directly affecting the Black community. Black churches are an avenue of influence within the Black community. There are some Black people that tithe (10% of income given to the church) because they were told God said it. So, when will more Black churches address the HIV/AIDS epidemic? Or better yet, when will more Black churches address sexuality?

Click here to watch a small portion from the CNN Special, Black in America (please watch the video “Genes may increase HIV risk,” for more info).